Want to make God laugh? Tell Him you've got plans.
Saturday, August 26, 2006
The teritips of life, yea...
...continuation of the last entry...
Ok, to feed the beetle, we took our science books out and there was this chapter on symbiosis, mentioning something about ladybugs and teritips. We came to the conclusion that a beetle was probably really close to a ladybug, and armed with this knowledge and encouragement, when the bell rang, we bounced to the nearest big tree in the skool and begin staring intently at it and muttering teritip related sentences as though we expected some teritips to start prancing around singing "Eat me". After growing a 3 foot beard but still getting no teritips, a voice chimed "How does a teritip look like?" Wow, good one, how does a teritip look like… We stood there like some kinda spastic old women staring at each other and talking to a tree before we realised that little flaw. Being the people we were we started roaring with laughter and pounded at the trunk of the tree sobbing happily before we realised we could be pounding the teritips to death. Anyway, out came the science book that described the teritip as some really ugly little creatures living IN the bark of trees.
Armed with this knowledge and encouraged, we looked around for tools to scrape the bark of tree with. Seeing this really nice girl, I asked to borrow her cloth scissors (I didn't wonder at that time though, why a form 3 girl was stomping around skool with a pair of cloth scissors in her pocket) and after waiting patiently as she faded out of sight, I proceeded to mutilate the tree bark with it.
After 20 minutes of murdering the tree, I almost gave up. We got our science books out again, and looked at the picture really hard, and saw the words… "Tidak dapat dilihat oleh mata kasar"(cannot be seen with the naked eye).
Ok, let me see, I just spent 10minutes peering at a bark of a tree to realise that teritips live IN the bark. Stole a pair of cloth scissors to scrape the bark of the tree, did that for 20minutes, and found out that teritips CANNOT BE SEEN. I was probably scratching at a whole city of invisible teritips and they could be crawling all over me shopping in my hair, BUT I CANNOT SEE THEM.
Anticlimax: The stoopit shit-look-alike beetle was gonna die anyway
I think this is a teritip...
Remind me again why I'm in school...
ps. nope... not teritip...
Typed out by royalty at 8/26/2006 1:32:31 am, and lived through by the one and only viphuman
Well, long long (16 yrs) ago, there once lived a very royal Baby Queen. She, was the one and only... (musicians, get ready...) QUEEN OF THE WORLD.
A royal forecaster once predicted that she will become a rich and famous yet extremely humble ruler, who will be admired by many, yet has the modesty of a...a... gee... I dunno... a... shoe, yea, shoe. He was soon kicked off TV3, ...but that's not the point. The point is that she was and is good and wonderful.
Alas, one day, her royal (now the UNroyal) toilet paper painter could no longer contain his jealousy. He stole the mini Queen from her royal crib, proclaimed himself heir and only son of the 6 month old baby and took the throne. Little did this microscopic minded imbecile know that because of his self acclaimed promotion, he was without a royal toilet paper painter, hehe, but the cunning, quickminded Queen... ah... she saw...
He requested that she be sent to live among the maids, but luckily, the mini Queen was not without her powers of persuasian, which she still uses even now. She carried out a diplomatic conversation with the tissue-painter-who-miniQueenapped-the-miniQueen-and-proclaimed-himself-heir to try and gain her dictatorship. This is what the Royal Record recorded of the conversation
for narrating purposes, he will be known as Toilet paper Man, TM, and I, the Mini Queen, MQ
TM : BANISH HER FROM THIS CASTLE AND PLACE HER IN CARE OF THE ROYAL MAIDS
MQ : *WAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!*translation: Shut up you ugly hairy faced man
TM : I have waited long enough for this day, that I may RULE!!!
MQ : *WAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!! *you want to rule? you go become a ruler, I sell you at MPH
TM : The time has now come for me to fulfill my dreams!!
MQ : WAAAAAAAAHHH!!! WAAAHWAAHHH? WAAA-....WAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!! *Stupid man, guards, take him away!!! Guards? GUARDS!!!!!!!!
TM : She is no longer worthy to be Queen, she has been in denial long enough!
TM : I, the new Queen of the World, Queen Toilet paper Man, do hereby proclaim that all small trees be made into big trees!
MQ : WAAAAAHHHHHH!WAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!! *that's not how u proclaim u feet face!!!
TM :Send the baby to the peasants!
*Note, every account of this conversation is true, except the part where she was longer worthy to be queen, it was added by the tissue man in his reign.and this was how the original Queen of the World came
My Who's Who In case someone asks something really stupid, like "Whose who's who"?
