I believe the day a person almost dies is very significant.

Strike that.

The day a person is almost murdered is very significant.

I also believe one should reveal their murderer.

Yesterday, I almost died.

Suen Xin was the murderer.

    For moral period, the whole class was commited to slavery in the editorial room. Yes, we actually haf an editorial room. No, I didn't know that either. It's the one with the ant nest on the sign that says "Tanggalkan Kasut", next to the canteen. You won't find the sign anymore. I took it out and the ant nest fell on my face.... Shaddap. Anyway, when the teacher opened the door, I realise why the school doesn't open the room to the public 
 
    Imagine you were in a cave. And at one corner of the cave there is a pile of wood, this, they so laughingly call "table", and beside this pile of wood, underneath some dead spiders, you unearth another pile of wood, and this, they call "shelf". Admist these piles of tree corpses, u see dust, and in the dust there are things that live in dust, called "shit". And this is the story of a room.

 Anyway, back to the sob story....

    To avoid sweeping the floor, Suen and I volunteered to go fetch screwdrivers from the KH workshop. The aforesaid screwdrivers are soon to be the murder weapons and also the cause of my ant nest-y face.
 
    We actually wanted to go in the first workshop to get our tools, but as I stepped into the classroom, I saw the shape of a stunted-at-birth turkey aka Madam Rip Off teacher. And to avoid her before she sees me and starts squawking at me, I scuttled away to the 2nd workshop. Leaving behind a cacated Suen Xin who stood there braying "WOI, VALERIE, SHE SAW U RUNNING AWAY FROM HER WEI!!" into her face.

    To cut a long story short, we collected the screwdrivers and returned to the room. I was walking in front of Suen and she was dragging herself along behind. We were walking into the room til suddenly I heard a squeak. I turned around, and saw something clutching 2 screwdrivers falling towards me. The teacher, thank you so much dear teacher, when I burn the skool down, I make sure the ambulance gets to u first, caught her in time and there was a screwdriver at my throat and one at my face. Now, a little arthmetic will show that there were not one, but TWO screwdrivers at my face, TWO to make sure I would really die, while the rest of the heartless peasants in the room were moved to tears from laughing. Talk about love.

    When I brought the subject up again in class, she finally understood what she almost succeeded in doing and said "Oh my goodness, I almost commited a murder..." Wow, real observant... The only thing I'm thankful for was that she probably wanted to kill me on purpose, if it were on accident, she might have succeeded.

I, Queen of the World do hereby proclaim that all suspected murderers be thrown into a room with the 2 million chickens until they confess. If they confess, they are to be turned into monsoon drains and used. If they do not confees, it will prove that they are guilty, and they shall also be turned into monsoon drains.