Hey... Chinese New Year upon us once more, and inspiration floods my soul...
First of all, the car trip, yes let's talk abou the car trip.
The eight hour car trip.
In the car.
With my family.
In the car.
With my family.
Family.
We started the most enjoyable journey.
At 8am my dad was stomping around the house screaming "TIME TO GO!!!! HURRY UP!!! I WON'T WAIT!!!" into our waiting faces. Then he went, "Oh, ready already." and went upstairs in his sleeping baju to go bathe. Honestly, I love my father.
Ok, the car trip wasn't all that wonderful, EIGHT hours ok? By the end of it, my parents had managed to argue about every subject known to man. Here're a few liners.
*car is silent
Mum: EW!!!! ARE YOU DIGGING YOUR NOSE?
Dad: DIGGING MY NOSE?!?!? I SCRATCH MY UPPER LIP ALSO U SAY DIG NOSE!
Mum: Wah, VERY smart to make excuse ah, your upper lip inside your nose one ah?
Dad: WHO said my finger was in my nose? PEE-PUHL nose ITCHY, u shoulc know, your nose got big mole.
Mum: MOLE?!??!?! WHERE GOT MOLE? U ASK ME GO CHINESE DOCTOR POKE OUT WAT RITE?
hence... that covered quite a while
*silence in the car...
(the song "To Be a Better Man" suddenly comes on the CD track)
Dad: Ooh! (presses "repeat track" button)
Mum and Dad: SEND SOMEONE TO LOVE ME.. !!!!
(need I remind you that shouting is their default volume?)
Dad: I NEED TO REST IN ARMS
Mum: I NEED RAISE IN ARMS
(at the same time)
*Mum and Dad look at each other
Dad: Eh, it's "REST" la, don't simply sing!
Mum: WHERE GOT SIMPLY SING? YOU CANNOT HEAR AH?
Dad: YOU TONE DEAF ONE AH?
Mum: YOU THINK YOU ROBBIE WILLIAMS IZIT?
Dad: AT LEAST I DUN SIMPLY MAKE MY OWN WORDS
Mum: IT IS RAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIISE!!!!!!!!!!
Dad: OK!!! WE BET! YOU LISTEN!!!!
Then, they listen intently to the next twenty times the song is replayed, and every time that word comes up...
Mum: RAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSSSE!!!!!!!!!!!
Dad: RESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSTTTTTTT!!!!!!!
At the same time, with the same level of decibles...
Hence... The trip gets longer...
*silence in the car
(someone on the emergency lane)
Mum: Stoopit bugger! Dunno how to drive. I hope he gets knocked down.
Dad: SO violent! What are you teaching your children?
Mum: TRUE wat! These people deserve to DIE
Dad: You ah, a true Hitler!
Mum: HITLER? IF ANYONE IS CAPABLE OF BEING A HITLER IT'S YOU!
Dad: HUH! ME? YOU SHOULD LOOK AT YOURSELF!
Mum: DON'T TALK NONSENSE! YOU'RE THE ONE WHO IS SO MURDEROUS!
Dad: MURDEROUS!!! YOU'LL BE WORSE!! THE JEWS WOULD WANT HITLER BACK!!!!
Hence... the car trip is extended by another light year...
Suddenly the car is silent...
My mum is sleeping...
Dad: Hear that lah, sleeping also want to make sound
...To be continued...
